My Story

My first spiritual awakening came at 17, the second at the age of 29. I woke up to the Matrix in my forties, and I thought that’s it.

As a seeker of Truth, I had always thought there were two types of awakenings for us: 1. Waking up from the matrix system that rules this planet, realizing its holoraphic nature and the decay to a system of human enslavement, and 2. Waking up „spiritually“ to recognize there’s a force greater than the little me that governs all of Life, hence realizing my own Divine essence.

I certainly didn’t expect a third kind of awakening to hit me. But it came and it cared very little about my expectations.

At 55, I woke to and from Functional Freeze.

Or that’s at least what it felt to me. Like waking up. It was actually two-fold, as I first woke up to the presence of Functional Freeze in my system and then gradually began to wake up from that state of complete frozenness to yet another layer of what I call Matrix awakening.

When you’ve had a series of awakenings, as I’m sure you did as well, you get used to changing viewpoints and shifting awareness about your existence on this planet and life in general. After all, an awakening doesn’t come with an invitation to RSVP.

The way it usually happens is it hits you out of the blue, and before you can turn your head you stand bewildered looking back at what happened and feeling profoundly changed. You are no longer the same person you were yesterday, and soon find that it takes a bit of time to integrate the new you and getting used to your transformed relationship to life.  

Post-awakening the world looks different. Sometimes we might ask what in the world we were thinking when looking back at the old - now outdates version - of us. It might have been only two weeks ago when we were fully immersed in being that former self but today it feels as though all of the past is immersed in some strange fog, and it’s hard to even recall certain memories.

Awakening from decades in a state of Functional Freeze felt a little bit like that, the difference being that memories of the past didn’t fade. On the contrary, the process of healing from trauma can actually revive memories of the past we never thought we had. At least that’s how it was for me.

At first, it was a bit of a shocker, but before too long I realized that within this experience resides the greatest chance for our individual and collective liberation at this point in human history.

I’m a practitioner of several different quantum healing modalities with ample experience in hypnosis work and a very pronounced mediumship. I have created my own form of deep theta state work called „Sacred Journeys“ and I’ve worked with clients from my own community individually and through workshops for years.

I have also been a natural channel all my life without knowing it. I’m not clairvoyant, I only see on what I call the inner planes, a.k.a. the astral planes and beyond. I don’t get physical sensations as many healers or energy workers do. Mostly, I just know, which has been the hardest challenge for me over the years. Being claircognizant means I have thoughts in my head that I don’t know where they come from, which means they can easily be dismissed--or portaled in by someone else.

As life goes, my narcissistic mother made sure in the first seven years of my life that’s what I would do later on and consider most of my creative ideas to be „silly brain farts.“

My Soul called for help, thus I met my spiritual teacher in my thirties and have been on a journey of uncovering my true Self ever since. The work and purpose I was assigned by the spiritual tradition I belong to was in the waiting for years and with the current topic at hand is now beginning to take shape.

As I embark on my journey to heal from complex post traumatic stress response, I uncover what might well become my life work and will hopefully be of service to women currently incarnate on this planet - and all of life:

There is no healing needed. What we perceive to be healing is, in truth, a reconnecting or remembering of what we've always known to be true. Because how long have we all been on a "healing journey?" If you are anything like me - and I'm sure you are, because I'm absolutely not special - you have been trying to heal yourself possibly for decades. I dare say that you never arrived at that final place of "being completely healed" because ... there is nothing to heal.

This doesn't discount all the pain, hurt and despair we've experienced. What I mean to point out is that the Matrix is set up to harm us, hurt us, traumatize us, and by tending to those issues with the intent to heal ourselves, our loved ones and our community, we do exactly what we're supposed to do: be distracted from ourselves and our real work.

The Healing Journey is a Matrix construct, much like the Zodiac, organized religion and New Age spirituality.

For us women, this means we need to step outside of everything we were made to believe about this world and its workings, and remember what is REAL: That we have come to liberate the planet from darkness and birth the Golden Age. To do so, we must align ourselves with our Divine essence by regulating the nervous system and clearing the womb space, so we collapse the Matrix through the alchemy only we can generate.

Nothing less.

That’s the purpose of this blog. To encourage, inspire, motivate, support, but also to crack illusions and clear the fog around that, which has kept us from stepping into the true power that we are.

It is time to put an end to WooWoo and get real.

There’s work to do - inside and out.

Nobody is going to do it for us.

Time to Release, Reset and Rise!